According to My Heart Palpitations
by Willowtreemuse
Summary: Maura thinks she may have messed up her friendship with Jane, and her and Angela have a heart to heart that has startling and abrupt consequences. Pre-Rizzles to start. NOW COMPLETE.
1. I told

"Angela - I have a dilemma."

Jane's mother looked up from her book with a start, sitting up straight on the guest-house's couch and meeting the M.E.'s eyes with concern. Maura's expression softened with guilt as she backed away from the newly opened doorway.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you, I should have knocked even though I have a key, I -

"Maur!" Angela interrupted with an overwhelmed laugh, beckoning the woman forward to come sit beside her on the couch. Maura obediently followed, but struggled to sit completely still, fidgeting under the weight of Angela's gaze and the stress on her shoulders. "There, there," the older woman soothed as she nodded approvingly at Maura's attempt to calm down, however half-hearted it was. "Now tell Mama Rizzoli what's wrong, eh?"

Very quickly, Maura blurted out, "I don't think Jane and I are on speaking terms."

"Impossible!" Angela shot back immediately, her eyebrows raising up to her hairline.

"I beg pardon, but I know for a fact that something has -

"ohh…what did Janie do now?!" She interrupted Maura once again, prematurely distraught over what she could only assume was her daughter's latest, grievous error.

Maura took in a shaky breath and broke eye contact, enunciating slowly and carefully,

"I think that it is something I have done."

Angela, strangely enough, only smiled before offering up reasonably,

"Then just apologize!" Causing Maura to chuckle and shake her head with a rueful grin.

"What I've revealed to Jane may be irreparable. I only spoke of science, and reason…but I made her realize things that I believe have scared - or scarred - her deeply."

"Scared her? About what?" Mama Rizzoli all but gasped.

Maura said, "Herself," Prompting Angela to grab at her chest as if reaching to steady a racing heart.

"Oh - Oh! Is she okay?"

"Oh!" Maura gasped as well, her arms flailing slightly with the urge to soothe the woman, "no - no! I mean yes, Jane's fine. Jane is…"

Angela waited, becoming more and more confused by the second, until eventually Maura re-established her train of thought, her arms stilling in her lap.

"Your daughter probably wouldn't want you hearing this…. but after she kicked out yet another incompatible, boorish man from her home two nights ago, she came to have a glass of wine with me. She was distraught, and lonely, and so I felt the need to inform her of what I had come to observe. Namely…" she bit her lip and trailed off, until Angela reached forward to lightly grasp her hand in support. She resumed shakily, staring at their hands and refusing eye contact -

"Namely, her lack of commitment towards the opposite sex, and the lack of - pardon me but - physical drive towards them, which implies of course disinterest…and with her much healthier and chemically charged interaction with females on top of that, I only suggested that perhaps…."

Angela cut her off with a light laugh as she pulled her hand free of the younger woman's, "you told my daughter she was a lesbian!" She laughed again in a care-free way that seemed to irk Maura given the situation, causing her to all but shout in defense of herself, "I did no such thing!"

She sighed, and amended at Angela's searching look, "Well…I didn't mean too." She frowned, looking down at her lap once more.

"You do know that I've kind of always known anyway, right?" Began Angela somewhat guiltily after a moment's silence, startling Maura.

"What?"

"I mean - I am her mother! I couldn't just tell her to give up on men, though. It's Jane we're talking about. She'd get the wrong idea, especially with her self esteem! - with how much she was teased about - about the way she dressed, and acted in middle school, and in high school, even in the academy!" her smile went soft, as if lost in memory, "Oh, my little tomboy. She's always been that way, you know? And I never meant to assume…I just knew she needed to figure it all out for herself, either way."

"I am so sorry. I've ruined everything," Maura whispered, a tear tracking down her cheek.

"No! You didn't do anything wrong, not on purpose. It will all be okay. Jane's probably just scared, and a little confused. You know how much she trusts your word. She's probably thinking. I'm telling you my Janie's fine but…she needs to be with her thoughts for a while, I'd assume."

Maura pouted, thinking of Jane staring off into space and so uncharacteristically contemplating life, and love…all by herself, in that empty apartment.

"Oh dear, should I go give her a hug?" She asked, genuinely alarmed at the image she had painted in her head.

Angela suddenly smirked, "you can go give her a kiss too, if you like. I can't imagine you told Jane about her love life being aimed towards the wrong gender without a goal in mind, eh?"

Maura's mouth opened in shock, and then closed, and finally she got up from the couch silently to exit the way she came. In the doorway though she turned and smiled tenderly, shyly at Angela, who was watching her knowingly.

"I - I'll take good care of her, if she'll have me."

And the other woman's response was exactly what she needed to hear.

"Sweetie, I may have always had some idea about Jane, but I knew for sure after she met you."


	2. I am

"Ma! Maura, Maur….she's –

Jane's loud voice tapered off as she caught her mother's un-amused look. Angela threw her book down onto the coffee table, exasperated at being interrupted yet again, "she's probably at your place standing out at the cold, that's what she is!"

In response, Jane stalked over to stand in front of the couch, crossing her arms and looking down at her mother, a combination of concern and paranoia in her eyes,

"What? Why?!"

Angela's arms crossed as well as she retorted defensively,

"Because I sent her, that's why!"

Jane held back what could only be considered a petulant whine, spinning on her feet and walking away from the couch before throwing her hands up with a grunt, and turning back only three paces later to plop down on the couch next to her mother.

She took both of the woman's hands in her own and watching her reaction carefully she asked,

"Did Maura tell you what she said to me?"

Angela's eyes got watery as she threw herself upon her daughter, who caught her with an audible 'oof!'

"Yes, and I accept you JUST the way you are!"

Jane sputtered, reeling back and un-graciously shoving her mother away from her, barely finding it within herself to even look apologetic afterwards.

"Excuse me?" She huffed gruffly, eyebrows trying their damnedest to climb straight her forehead.

"Well…" began her mother reluctantly, "I mean Janie, I've always suspected…"

"Always?" Jane asked reflexively, not quite following just yet.

Angela nodded kindly, briefly rubbing her daughter's shoulder, "Yes, and –

But was only interrupted again, louder this time as Jane caught on and interjected loudly,

"You SUSPECTED? The HELL ma!"

Angela tossed her arms out in disbelief, "are you going to repeat every damned thing I say?"

Jane mimicked mockingly, "are you going to repeat nyeh nyeh-nyen," causing her mother to actually laugh, "what. Are you five again? Next are you gonna go break your arm wrestling with Frankie? Oh wait – you almost did that last week."

Her ma's look was very reminiscent of the long forgotten "I don't care what you say, you're grounded" expression, and Jane withered, mumbling "I'm sorry ma," and then louder but not by much and almost shyly, "but you think I…that I'm gay!" She turned her body away as if unable to face the older woman beside her.

"Well…you're…not?" Angela inquired, her brow knitting together in confusion as she studied her daughter's trembling profile.

"I'm…." Jane choked out, before breaking into tears and burying her face in her hands to try and hide the fact that she was losing it. Angela gasped, scooting closer to her and gently putting her arm over her shoulders,

"Oh Janie," she cooed, "it's okay. You're okay."

Jane sniffled weakly and peered up at her mom, "no it's not. I'm not – it's all her fault!" She whined, catching Angela by surprise by burrowing further into her side instead of – like usual – becoming embarrassed and pulling away.

"Is it Maura's fault because she told you, Jane? Or because you love her?" She asked, quietly and kindly.

The unexpected question was such a shock that Jane almost stopped crying entirely, but for a few silent tears still sliding down her cheeks. And when she got the nerve to look fully into her mother's eyes that were gazing down at her, she looked caught.

"Ma, I think I –

"Angela! I'm sorry that I forgot to knock, again! But I can't seem to find –

Jane sat up straight and turned, and her and Maura's eyes met over the back of the couch.

-Jane" Maura finished her statement, and it sounded more like the end of a reverent prayer. Angela looked between the two women for a long moment as they blatantly stared at one another, before patting her daughter on the shoulder one last time and pulling away. She kissed her on the top of her head as she stood – and Jane hardly seemed to notice.

"I'll leave you two alone," she announced, sounding somewhat subdued, before walking right past Maura and out the door.


	3. I know

Jane's jaw went slack at her mother's audacity to just…leave her after dropping a bomb like that, and for a moment she figured that if she just sat there, twisted idiotically over the back of the couch, staring at Maura…

Eventually they would both disappear, and this new scary revelation would go the hell away.

But, alas…

"May I come sit?" Maura inquired shyly, tentatively, a blush coloring her cheeks. Jane, still dumb-struck by the sheer amount of awkward inhabiting the room, simply nodded before turning back around to sit properly on the couch, breaking eye-contact with her friend.

But not for long, because within a minute or so Maura was beside her, on the far side of the couch, examining the side-profile of her face and running her eyes all around her features quickly and calculatingly.

"Are you angry with me?" She practically whispered, tears threatening to fall.

Jane – who was about to attempt to hold Maura's wandering gaze, became flustered when eye-contact was made at last and instead turned her head away. She muttered - "no", and looked down at her feet that she had planted firmly on the floor.

"I'm sorry if I offended you." Maura tried, grasping for a way to get their conversation moving.

"You didn't," Jane replied sharply, looking at her at last and fixing her with a hard stare, and this did it for the other woman. In her own, calm way, she snapped.

"Darn it, Jane! I don't want to be the only one talking here! This is, as you would say, a little awkward!"

"Okay, okay," Jane soothed, scooting closer to her friend on the couch and surging electricity through both their veins by taking Maura's hands from her own lap and encasing them in between her scarred palms, "alright," she continued, before declaring as confidently as she could, "then we'll uh…talk."

"Thank you," Maura said, "so shall I begin, or perhaps –

Jane chuckled, stroking Maura's fingers with her thumb and squeezing her hands slightly, making Maura let out a breathy gasp.

"No need to make this so formal Maur. And no, it's okay. I'll as you'd put it, "start the dialogue" or whatever, okay?".

Maura nodded, grinning at Jane's attempt to sound like her, but sobering quickly when she saw a particular softness in Jane's eyes.

"I'm not mad at you, and I'm not offended…I'm just scared." A single tear fell from her right eye, and Maura got one hand out of her friend's grasp to reach forward and reflexively brush it away. Jane flinched.

"Jane…"

"No, I'm okay! Just…" she ran her newly freed hand through her unruly hair, "let me finish okay? Because there's never going to be another time were I'll find the balls to say this, unless I do it now." She took a deep breath, and admitted, "I may have always had some idea…but I know, now. Thanks to you."

The words sounded deep, and heart-felt…and full of meaning, a meaning that Maura couldn't perfectly infer without a little bit of context. She floundered.

"You…know? You know. You know what, Jane? And what did I do?"

There it is. The patented, "really?" Rizzoli look. To both of their surprise, Maura lightheartedly rolled her eyes right back.

"Okay, yes, I know what I did. But what do you…um, know?"

Jane leaned forward, scooted a few inches closer so that they were hip to hip, their bodies in fact flush together on the one side, before turning completely and surging forward to capture her best friend in a desperate hug – one that demanded contact everywhere.

"I know that I'm in love with you," she confessed, her lips buried against Maura's sweet, smooth neck. And even if Maura hadn't heard, the message would have been clear.

Maura had to resist the temptation to throw her head back and wait for Jane to devour her. Because Jane's lips weren't moving. They were pressed against her now slippery skin, as if frozen in time, afraid to move forward.

So Maura took Jane by the shoulders and disentangled herself from her precious grasp. She held her best friend at arms-length, looked deep into her eyes and nodded with a slow, emotional smile gracing her entire face, as if to say "Finally" and "Thank you" and "Oh, I know that too."

And then she pulled them back together with force, like two magnets that have been too long apart, and their lips met in a bruising, clumsy, life altering kiss.


End file.
